Raising Kind Kids: Teaching Your kids (and the family) Kindness

August 10, 2022

Here’s why you should cultivate kindness in your children (and family members) through good deeds and acts of kindness.

A little girl is laying on the ground with her dog.

It goes by many names – kindness, compassion, empathy, generosity, helping others, and more – but love for others is certainly something that can make the world a better place. According to the Making Caring Common project, “We should work to cultivate children’s concern for others because it’s fundamentally the right thing to do, and also because when children can empathise with and take responsibility for others, they’re likely to be happier and more successful people.”

“Be nice to your sister,” “Always stand up for your friends” and, “Never tease anyone,” are common parenting refrains the world over. Yet, in a fast-paced, achievement-focused digital world, teaching real compassion to our children can feel like a serious challenge. Raising a generation of really “good people” is possible – it’s all about making kindness a habit.

Teaching kindness to your kids

The building blocks of kindness lie in emotional intelligence (called EQ), which is really all about understanding, managing, and using one’s emotions to communicate, overcome challenges, resolve conflict, and empathise with others. Rather than a personality trait, kindness is just a skill in the EQ skill set. Here are some ways to teach this skill to your children:

1. Talk about it

Because the foundation of kindness is EQ, being able to identify, talk about and work through their feelings is the first step in a child growing into a kind person. So, talk about what kindness means, how it makes people feel, why someone would need kindness and what this looks like. You could think of reading books about kindness together or, when reading any book, point to the characters and ask your child to tell you how they’re feeling.

2. Focus on kindness

When it comes to caring for others, children need to learn how to balance their own needs with those of others, as well be able to put these moments into practise.

Ask your child: “What was the nicest thing someone did for you today?” or “What nice thing do you think you can do for someone tomorrow?” Respect for others is also a big part of teaching kindness, and you could bring this in by teaching your child to always greet and treat other with respect even when they’re angry tired or upset.

3. Celebrate good deeds

Take care to notice the small acts of kindness your child shows – whether that be picking you a little flower on your trip to the park or sharing their half-eaten biscuit with you. Kindness starts by caring for someone other than yourself, so praise your child’s efforts and encourage more kindness. Tell them, “It’s so kind of you to share your favourite treat with Mom!” As they grow older, it becomes even more important to affirm their kind actions.

4. Be a model of kindness

As with most things in this job of parenting, you are your child’s best role model when teaching kindness. So, think about joining a school or community project, volunteering as a family and donating to local causes to help your child see what kindness looks like (and that it does require commitment).

With older children, you could also chat about empathy, kindness, etc. by working through moral dilemmas with them. For example, “What do you think I should do if one of my friends says something about one of my other friends?” You could also pause a movie or series and start a dialogue about something that has come up for a character in the story.

5. Make the circle bigger

Because kindness is about showing care and concern for others, it’s something that needs to extend beyond our core circle of friends and family. Yes, your child’s immediate circle is important but there’s a bigger picture to consider too.

Think about the children at school, the people in your community, our society. This isn’t to make them feel responsible for everyone, but to understand that we can practise and spread kindness everywhere. A good way to do this is to do good deeds and practice acts of kindness as a family.

Here are 10 acts of kindness to do as a family

1. Collect old (but in good condition) toys to donate to a local orphanage

2. Offer to babysit for friends so they can enjoy a date night out

3. Donate old books to a doctor or dentist’s office or to a rural library

4. Learn a joke to share with the teller at the till of your local shop

5. Offer to help an elderly or sick neighbour with household chores or around the garden

6. Take a meal to a family who needs it (they’ve had a new baby, or a bereavement, or have been ill)

7. Share some treats with your school’s staff, just to say thanks

8. Donate DVDs, books, puzzles to a care home for the elderly

9. Volunteer at local charities and causes

10. Smile – a random act of kindness goes a long way to warming the hearts of others.

Sources:

7 Tips for Raising Caring Kids

Raising kind kids: 9 daily habits to teach kids kindness

3 Simple Rules To Raise Kind Kids

52 Acts of Kindness for Families with Young Children

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Be mindful of mental health: building wellness, resilience, action and purpose in our families

By Laura Barrett • October 10, 2025

By Laura Barrett, Intern Counselling Psychologist at Trinityhouse Glenvista Each year on 10 October , the world pauses to recognise World Mental Health Day, a reminder that mental well-being is not just an individual concern, but a shared responsibility among families, schools, and communities. As an Educational Psychologist working closely with children and families, I have seen first-hand how early conversations about mental health can change the course of a young person’s life. When emotional well-being is acknowledged and nurtured from a young age, children are better equipped to handle life’s challenges with confidence and resilience. Why conversations about mental health matter? Mental health is not a “grown-up” topic, it’s a human one. If children are not taught about emotions and coping mechanisms early on, they may grow into adults who struggle to manage stress, relationships, or change. Talking openly about feelings, naming emotions, and learning healthy coping strategies are all part of developing emotional literacy. These are the tools that help children and adults stay grounded through the ups and downs of life. At Trinityhouse, together with the world earlier this year, we explored the WRAP framework: Wellness, Resilience, Action and Purpose, a simple yet powerful approach to supporting children’s mental well-being. Each pillar plays a role in creating emotional stability and balance, not only for children but also for the families guiding them. Wellness begins with the basics. Adequate sleep, good nutrition, hydration, and rest may sound simple, but they lay the foundation for emotional regulation. A well-rested, nourished child is far more likely to cope effectively with daily stressors. Being mindful of mental health also involves small, practical steps like taking a few deep breaths before a stressful test or stretching during homework breaks. For adults, this might mean pausing for a cup of tea, taking a short walk, or simply naming what you’re feeling in the moment. Labelling emotions (“I feel anxious about this meeting”) helps calm the mind and re-engage rational thinking. Resilience isn’t about “always being strong.” It’s about learning to recover and grow after setbacks. Parents and teachers can nurture resilience by giving children space to express their struggles without judgement, then helping them explore possible solutions. When a child faces disappointment, a poor test result or a conflict with a friend, remind them of times they’ve overcome challenges before. Ask: “What helped you last time?” This reflective process empowers children to see themselves as capable problem-solvers, rather than passive victims of circumstance. Positive mental health requires active engagement, not just awareness. For families, this can mean creating calm, structured environments where children feel safe and heard. The Positive Parenting framework offers five helpful practices to support this: Empathy : Validate your child’s emotions instead of dismissing them. “I can see you’re upset about your toy” goes further than “Don’t cry, it’s not a big deal.” Positive Reinforcement : Celebrate effort and progress, no matter how small. A star chart or extra family time can be simple yet powerful motivators. Consistent Boundaries : Predictable routines and clear consequences make children feel secure. Boundaries should be calm, firm, and fair. Open Communication : Create family moments for honest sharing. Ask, “What was the best part of your day?” and really listen to the answer. Co-regulation : Young children often mirror their parents’ emotions. When you model calmness through deep breathing or gentle reassurance you teach them to regulate their own feelings. A sense of purpose is vital for both adults and children. It gives meaning to our actions and connects us to something larger than ourselves. Encourage children to explore hobbies and interests that bring them joy and fulfilment, whether it’s art, sport, volunteering, or spending time outdoors. These pursuits help build identity, confidence, and belonging. For parents, purpose can come from nurturing both their children’s and their own mental health. The saying “You cannot pour from an empty cup” is particularly true here. When parents take care of themselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally, they model balance and self-respect for their children. Recognising when a child is struggling Even with the best support, children can experience emotional challenges. Warning signs may include withdrawal from friends, sudden changes in sleep or appetite, irritability, or declining motivation. These can indicate stress, anxiety, or burnout. If you notice these signs, open a gentle conversation: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately. Would you like to talk about it?” Sometimes, simply being heard is the first step toward healing. Continuing the conversation The most inspiring shift in recent years is how openly young people now speak about mental health. Many no longer see anxiety, sadness, or stress as weaknesses but as part of the human experience. This honesty offers hope for a more empathetic, emotionally literate generation. On this World Mental Health Day , let’s extend that conversation beyond schools and into our homes. Let’s practise a WRAP culture together by building Wellness, Resilience, Action and Purpose not only in our children’s lives but in our own. At Trinityhouse , we believe education extends beyond academics, it’s about nurturing the heart and mind. By fostering open dialogue, emotional awareness, and resilience, we aim to create an environment where every child feels seen, supported, and empowered to thrive. When families make mental health a daily priority, we don’t just raise stronger children, we raise a kinder, calmer and more connected generation.

Helping your child make smart subject choices: a guide for South African parents

September 10, 2025

One of the most significant academic decisions your child will make in their school career is which subjects to select. For many South African families, it can feel like a daunting task filled with pressure, uncertainty, and long-term consequences. But with the right support, tools, and guidance, parents can help their children make well-informed decisions that set them up for future success, both academically and professionally. The foundation of good subject choices lies in understanding your child’s academic ability and current performance. Subjects like Mathematics, Physical Sciences, and Accounting require solid results in Grade 9 and a strong grasp of key concepts. Similarly, subjects like Engineering Graphics & Design (EGD) or Visual Arts cater to students with practical and creative aptitudes. Consider your child’s learning style: do they prefer theory, or do they thrive with hands-on learning? Although, it is normal to want what’s best for your child’s future, you should not force them to live up to your ideal of success. Rather initiate conversations about possible careers or areas of interest and explore how different subjects align with those pathways. Platforms like YENZA Careers are incredibly helpful in this regard. YENZA uses psychometric assessments to offer realistic subject recommendations based on your child’s strengths, interests, and potential career matches, and it gives parents access to the results too. “Choosing the right subjects is a balance of academic ability, interest, and long-term thinking,” says Sumari Purdon , Head of Academics for Trinityhouse Schools. “We encourage families to use this opportunity to start meaningful conversations about the future, with support from tools like YENZA and input from educators who know the student well.”