How To Teach Your Children Resilience

ADvTECH Group • June 6, 2022

Building Resilient Children

Woman helping girl child play chess

As much as you try and protect them, your children will at some time face tough times. You will hear complaints about: nobody wanting to play with them; being accused falsely; making a mistake and being judged for it; being rejected or ignored. You cannot stop those tears, but what you can do is teach them to bounce back.


Here are some thoughts and activities to build resilience in your children:



The 3 Ps to tell your children:


1.   Permanence: The turning wheel


A good way to talk to your children about resilience is to explain that our lives are like a turning wheel. Teach your kids that sometimes we are on top of the wheel, where things are good and times are happy. Sometimes, the wheel turns and we find ourselves on the bottom of the wheel, going through tough times and challenges.

The point is that the wheel is always turning and when we are on the bottom we need to work though it to help that wheel move back up towards the top again.


2.    Positivity: Reframing your thoughts

We need to teach our children how to deal with negative thoughts. If left, negative thoughts become self-beliefs and will mould children in the future. Every negative thought needs to be turned into positive thinking.

For example, when a child thinks, ‘I am bad because I did something wrong’, you can help reframe their thoughts by saying, “It’s true, you made a mistake but your mistakes helped you to learn a lesson. Now you know something that you didn’t know before."


3.    Perspective: The mountain


Getting kids to see perspective of their problems is key to overcoming the challenge. A good example is to pick a mountain and to explain that the mountain remains a mountain, day in and day out, no matter the problem, no matter the worry, the mountain remains. When a child is faced with a worry that has them off-balance, they need to think of the mountain and how it stands tall because it is bigger than the small problems that passes it by.


Three games to build resilience:


1.    Make a worry jar


Being able to recognise feelings is key to developing resilience. What’s more, talking about things also helps. With a worry jar, you get to start conversations with your child about life’s tough stuff without them having to dominate your lives.

First, talk to your child about any worries or fears they may have. Say something like, “Have you been thinking about problems or scary things lately? It’s normal to think about your problems, it’s called worrying.


So today, we’re going to give your worries a place to go so you can feel a bit better, we’re going to make a Worry Jar.” Help them to write these down or draw pictures of them on pieces of paper. Next, decorate a large glass or plastic jar – use paint, stickers, markers, whatever your child wants.


Then it’s time to put the worries you drew or wrote down into the jar and explain what this process is all about to your child. “This Worry Jar is a place to put your worries so they don’t get too big – you can put your worries in here any time.

Talking about your worries also helps, and you can always tell me about what’s bothering you.” This should give you an opportunity to explore the worries your child has and talk about them openly, explore possible solutions with them, model resilience and (most of all) let your child know that they have your support no matter what.


2.    Play musical chairs


This old childhood game is a great one for resilience, as it teaches your child that you don’t always win – and that that’s okay! It’s one of the hardest lessons to learn for a child, so why not have some fun while you’re at it?


Gather some friends or family members to play with and at the end of the game, talk about how it felt to be without a seat and having to sit out the game. Being the odd one out brings with it some surprisingly strong emotions, and this game helps children learn how to cope with those feelings.


3.    What’s the hard part?


Problem-solving is key to resilience. Help your little one develop problem solving skills in the moments where they are frustrated.

If you see them feeling discouraged or wanting to give up on something, ask them, “What’s the hard part?” When they answer you, repeat it back to them so that you help them identify the challenge clearly. Then ask them what they could do to ‘fix’ the hard part.


For example, “Figuring out how to connect those Lego blocks is hard. What could you do to fix it?” This encourages them to persevere and find solutions, even if it takes time to do it. Let them figure it out on their own, guiding them if you need to – but don’t solve the problem for them (“What would happen if you turned the block around?” for example).


Characteristics of a resilient child (what we are aiming for):


  • Solves problems effectively
  • Asserts themselves
  • Shows initiative
  • Shows empathy towards others
  • Is self-aware of their abilities
  • Can act independently
  • Asks for help when its needed
  • Is secure in their own ideas
  • Is motivated to do their best
  • Adapts when things don’t go to plan
  • Has a generally positive attitude


A child’s resilience has more to do with their connection to people, their confidence in their own abilities, and how they are enabled to cope with life’s problems than anything else. And it is something that is constantly under development, so there are always moments and ways to help your child develop this life skill.


Sources


9 Activities To Build Grit and Resilience in Children

Helpful Emotional Resilience Activities for Kids


Resilience guide for parents and teachers


Anxiety in Kids and Teens


Resilience: how to build it in children 3-8 year



By Laura Barrett October 10, 2025
By Laura Barrett, Intern Counselling Psychologist at Trinityhouse Glenvista Each year on 10 October , the world pauses to recognise World Mental Health Day, a reminder that mental well-being is not just an individual concern, but a shared responsibility among families, schools, and communities. As an Educational Psychologist working closely with children and families, I have seen first-hand how early conversations about mental health can change the course of a young person’s life. When emotional well-being is acknowledged and nurtured from a young age, children are better equipped to handle life’s challenges with confidence and resilience. Why conversations about mental health matter? Mental health is not a “grown-up” topic, it’s a human one. If children are not taught about emotions and coping mechanisms early on, they may grow into adults who struggle to manage stress, relationships, or change. Talking openly about feelings, naming emotions, and learning healthy coping strategies are all part of developing emotional literacy. These are the tools that help children and adults stay grounded through the ups and downs of life. At Trinityhouse, together with the world earlier this year, we explored the WRAP framework: Wellness, Resilience, Action and Purpose, a simple yet powerful approach to supporting children’s mental well-being. Each pillar plays a role in creating emotional stability and balance, not only for children but also for the families guiding them. Wellness begins with the basics. Adequate sleep, good nutrition, hydration, and rest may sound simple, but they lay the foundation for emotional regulation. A well-rested, nourished child is far more likely to cope effectively with daily stressors. Being mindful of mental health also involves small, practical steps like taking a few deep breaths before a stressful test or stretching during homework breaks. For adults, this might mean pausing for a cup of tea, taking a short walk, or simply naming what you’re feeling in the moment. Labelling emotions (“I feel anxious about this meeting”) helps calm the mind and re-engage rational thinking. Resilience isn’t about “always being strong.” It’s about learning to recover and grow after setbacks. Parents and teachers can nurture resilience by giving children space to express their struggles without judgement, then helping them explore possible solutions. When a child faces disappointment, a poor test result or a conflict with a friend, remind them of times they’ve overcome challenges before. Ask: “What helped you last time?” This reflective process empowers children to see themselves as capable problem-solvers, rather than passive victims of circumstance. Positive mental health requires active engagement, not just awareness. For families, this can mean creating calm, structured environments where children feel safe and heard. The Positive Parenting framework offers five helpful practices to support this: Empathy : Validate your child’s emotions instead of dismissing them. “I can see you’re upset about your toy” goes further than “Don’t cry, it’s not a big deal.” Positive Reinforcement : Celebrate effort and progress, no matter how small. A star chart or extra family time can be simple yet powerful motivators. Consistent Boundaries : Predictable routines and clear consequences make children feel secure. Boundaries should be calm, firm, and fair. Open Communication : Create family moments for honest sharing. Ask, “What was the best part of your day?” and really listen to the answer. Co-regulation : Young children often mirror their parents’ emotions. When you model calmness through deep breathing or gentle reassurance you teach them to regulate their own feelings. A sense of purpose is vital for both adults and children. It gives meaning to our actions and connects us to something larger than ourselves. Encourage children to explore hobbies and interests that bring them joy and fulfilment, whether it’s art, sport, volunteering, or spending time outdoors. These pursuits help build identity, confidence, and belonging. For parents, purpose can come from nurturing both their children’s and their own mental health. The saying “You cannot pour from an empty cup” is particularly true here. When parents take care of themselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally, they model balance and self-respect for their children. Recognising when a child is struggling Even with the best support, children can experience emotional challenges. Warning signs may include withdrawal from friends, sudden changes in sleep or appetite, irritability, or declining motivation. These can indicate stress, anxiety, or burnout. If you notice these signs, open a gentle conversation: “I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed yourself lately. Would you like to talk about it?” Sometimes, simply being heard is the first step toward healing. Continuing the conversation The most inspiring shift in recent years is how openly young people now speak about mental health. Many no longer see anxiety, sadness, or stress as weaknesses but as part of the human experience. This honesty offers hope for a more empathetic, emotionally literate generation. On this World Mental Health Day , let’s extend that conversation beyond schools and into our homes. Let’s practise a WRAP culture together by building Wellness, Resilience, Action and Purpose not only in our children’s lives but in our own. At Trinityhouse , we believe education extends beyond academics, it’s about nurturing the heart and mind. By fostering open dialogue, emotional awareness, and resilience, we aim to create an environment where every child feels seen, supported, and empowered to thrive. When families make mental health a daily priority, we don’t just raise stronger children, we raise a kinder, calmer and more connected generation.
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