Teaching your children to share from an early age is a very important life skill. It helps them to build relationships, good negotiating skills and can even help them cope with all the disappointment that life brings.

Learning to share is a process and not something that’s done in a day. To help you along, follow these basic tips and you will be well on your way to helping your child learn the art of sharing.

"It wasn't much good having anything exciting if you couldn't share them with somebody."

― Winnie the Pooh

Start at home and be an example

Children imitate what they see. Show your child what you mean by sharing with your spouse, in front of them. When you have family or friends around, make a point of sharing things and explain it to your child as you do it. Even if it is the last piece of cake, offer it to everyone else. You can also share something of your own with your child and ask them to do it return. This can build a give and take relationship. When someone shares with you, make a point to show your child and tell them how that made you feel.

Compliment your child when you see them sharing

When you see your child sharing, compliment them. Praising your child will boost their self-esteem. It can also inspire children to be more cooperative and to continue sharing. Evidence suggests that pre-schoolers develop better social skills when they are praised. (Garner 2006). When you commend your child, you are helping them to recognise when they do well and to feel proud. They are also more likely to keep trying and to be encouraged when they face challenges.

Encourage your child to give away things they no longer use

Talk to your kids about giving away their old clothes and toys. Explain to them why you would like to donate them and how. Take them to a homeless shelter or SPCA shop, so they can hand them over themselves. If your kids are old enough to understand, you can explain to them that there are less fortunate people out there who can make use of their old clothes, toys and books. When you go to birthday parties let them hand over the gifts. You can also comment to your child on how happy and excited the person looked when they received their gift.

"Sharing is a wonderful thing, especially to those you've shared with."

― Julie Hebert

Reflect on their feelings and offer emotional support

Speak to your child openly about their feelings. Try to identify what they are struggling with. Your child may not understand what sharing means. They may think that the things they share may never come back. Helping them overcome this fear by explaining that they will get the item back may give them peace of mind.

Have fun while teaching your kids to take turns

Kids love playing games. Choose ones that involve sharing and taking turns. Card or board games are a great way to teach your child to be patient and wait for their turn. Depending on their ages, this can also teach them to start identifying numbers and shapes. Share the same piece of paper when doing a drawing with your child. It will teach them to share the space and their crayons. There are so many fun activities to do with your child to teach them how to share.

Be gentle. Do not force it.

There will be times when your child is not ready to give things up. That’s ok. The goal is for your child to notice when another child would like a turn. Children also need to learn how to stand up for themselves in a respectful way. If your child isn't forced to share, they will learn patience and empathy. They will also learn how to handle more emotionally complex situations as they grow older.

“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.”

― Brian Tracy

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